I used to sympathize with Jan Brady. I think it was a middle child thing, just trying to figure out where I fit in. Also the freckles. We had that in common, too.
I haven't thought about Jan Brady for a long time now.
The pumpkinhead was looking me over while trying to distract my attention from the fact that she wasn't eating her dinner. She asked me why I have so many freckles "all over yourself" -- said with with a wrinkled nose and a disgusted sound in her voice. As if that were not bad enough, she went on to say "I want a new mommy. One who doesn't have so many freckles."
If anyone needs me, I'll be soaking in a vat of lemon juice.